
By Liane Arno
MATT told me one of the funniest nights he has had in his life when he went to a show by Spike Milligan. You will remember that Spike was one of the Goons. He is dead now with “I told you I was ill,” etched in Gaelic on his headstone indicating the irreverent fellow who lies below.
Spike came to Australia not only to visit his parents who lived in Woy Woy but also to tour. On one such tour Matt was in the audience when Spike walked on stage and started talking about jam rolls. He told the audience that on walking into a shop he came across a huge display of jam rolls. “I’m a bit partial to the old jam rolls – so I bought the lot.”
MATT told me one of the funniest nights he has had in his life when he went to a show by Spike Milligan. You will remember that Spike was one of the Goons. He is dead now with “I told you I was ill,” etched in Gaelic on his headstone indicating the irreverent fellow who lies below.
Spike came to Australia not only to visit his parents who lived in Woy Woy but also to tour. On one such tour Matt was in the audience when Spike walked on stage and started talking about jam rolls. He told the audience that on walking into a shop he came across a huge display of jam rolls. “I’m a bit partial to the old jam rolls – so I bought the lot.”
He was contentedly eating the first jam roll when he looked at the packet and realised with dismay that the use-by date was the next day. He frantically looked at the rest of the packets and realised they were all use-by tomorrow’s date. So he started eating more jam rolls, and then more, and more.
It was getting close to midnight and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to eat them all so he fed a couple to his dog. And then his hamster. He gave so many to the hamster that the little fellow’s cheeks bulged out, as hamsters do when they save food for later, until they were as big as the hamster himself. Spike became more and more maniacal as he described the minutes close to midnight when he ended up grabbing his cat and stuffing a jam roll up the cat’s arse repeatedly as he himself consumed the last of the soon to be out-of-date jam rolls.
I feel the same way about zucchinis at this time of year. What will I do with them? Harry and Hoover, our cats, are already looking nervous!
Now I know you will have done zucchini fritters to death – but I thought I might share a recipe which takes them to the next level – crisp on the outside and moist in the middle – and not too moist.
I think it might have been Jessy Ellis (or was it her mum Karin?) who told me this trick with zucchini to get rid of the moisture. No more adding salt, leaving for 10 minutes for the salt to draw the moisture out and then wringing the zucchini in a towel with a hapless friend on the other end of the towel, twisting yourself into knots until the zucchini gives up its liquid. Simply take a laundry mesh bag (such as you would put your delicates in). put the grated zucchini in the bag and put it into your washing machine on the spin cycle. Brilliant!
Put in a bowl:
It was getting close to midnight and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to eat them all so he fed a couple to his dog. And then his hamster. He gave so many to the hamster that the little fellow’s cheeks bulged out, as hamsters do when they save food for later, until they were as big as the hamster himself. Spike became more and more maniacal as he described the minutes close to midnight when he ended up grabbing his cat and stuffing a jam roll up the cat’s arse repeatedly as he himself consumed the last of the soon to be out-of-date jam rolls.
I feel the same way about zucchinis at this time of year. What will I do with them? Harry and Hoover, our cats, are already looking nervous!
Now I know you will have done zucchini fritters to death – but I thought I might share a recipe which takes them to the next level – crisp on the outside and moist in the middle – and not too moist.
I think it might have been Jessy Ellis (or was it her mum Karin?) who told me this trick with zucchini to get rid of the moisture. No more adding salt, leaving for 10 minutes for the salt to draw the moisture out and then wringing the zucchini in a towel with a hapless friend on the other end of the towel, twisting yourself into knots until the zucchini gives up its liquid. Simply take a laundry mesh bag (such as you would put your delicates in). put the grated zucchini in the bag and put it into your washing machine on the spin cycle. Brilliant!
Put in a bowl:
- 500g spun-out zucchini
- 2 finely sliced onions
- ½ cup of grated parmesan
- ½ cup of chopped anise (we grow our own but you will find lots along the roadways) or you could use dill
- 2 cloves of minced garlic
- A good sprinkling of salt and pepper
- ½ cup of plain flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder

I know you’ll think this is way too crumbly – but once you gather a little in your hands to make a patty you will find it comes together beautifully – and when you fry it in a shallow pan with a little bit of olive oil (a couple of minutes on each side until browned) you will be amazed that it all stays together.
Like I said – crispy on the outside and moist on the inside. Serve with a bit of yogurt or sour cream.
By the way if you haven’t tried it – have a munch of the flower of the anise (shown in the picture) if you fancy a quick breath freshener.
Like I said – crispy on the outside and moist on the inside. Serve with a bit of yogurt or sour cream.
By the way if you haven’t tried it – have a munch of the flower of the anise (shown in the picture) if you fancy a quick breath freshener.