I'VE always loved the Wonthaggi cemetery, with footy flags adorning headstones, concrete angels, and roos grazing between the graves in the last rays of the day. A homely and cheerful place to contemplate mortality.
But things are changing since Southern Metropolitan Cemeteries Trust took over the cemetery in February.
The council has paid the trust (a public entity) $4 million to maintain Wonthaggi and San Remo cemeteries in perpetuity. The understanding is that the council will save money and the community will get a more professional service.
A new corporate vibe starts with the mission statement at the entrance. No gloomy words about death. That's a downer! Now the Wonthaggi cemetery is all about “Honouring and celebrating life”. There’s even a QR code.
The new vibe continues with an information board containing pictures of flowers, trees, chairs, fairy lights, hamburgers, and bottles of wine.
Not, as it first appears, an invitation to stop for a picnic in this lovely spot but symbols of all the things that are now PROHIBITED in our own cemetery.
Our forebears would be turning in their graves.
No alcohol or cigarettes! No bushes, trees, vegetables or other plantings! No sharp things! No broken things! No chairs! No food! No artificial flowers!
Southern Metropolitan, you have got to be joking. There are artificial flowers here that have survived two world wars and will be here when the cemetery has sea views.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
What “approved adornments”? You’ve outlawed everything.
I have buyer’s remorse. Seems like we bought the plot but forgot to read the fine print first.
Fortunately, it seems that no one is taking a blind bit of notice.