By Matt Stone

THE core Modern English Dictionary meaning of generosity is “munificence, open‑handedness, and liberality in giving.” For those of us who have to look up munificence, it means lavish generosity - the quality of giving with extraordinary liberality, often on a grand or princely scale. I like that!

There are many ways to be generous. You can give money or gifts; you can give your time; you can share your knowledge; and you can be generous in giving praise.  As a live example, we recently had the fortune to go up north to a warmer climate, but at short notice the accommodation was eye wateringly expensive. Having parted with a considerable sum for seven days, we were disappointed to notice only four of those coffee pods, but we “could buy more from reception if we wanted”. To us, that is not generosity. 

Conversely, we recently had a lovely meal and stayed at the same hotel where the meal was – neither were cheap, and the accommodation was priced the same as our stay up north. However, the restaurant provided a “thank you package” of T-shirts, breakfast cereals and beautifully presented menu of the degustation courses. The hotel offered free soft drinks, breakfast cereal, chocolates and a carry bag. They weren’t obliged to do so - we felt that was true generosity.

What’s the payback? We tell everyone about the meal and accommodation in a positive way, but not so the northern venture – so cheap marketing. And of course we will return to our generous hosts, but will never return to the money-pinching hotel up north.

However, I don’t think generosity lives alone. I have a theory, what I call my “hierarchy of human goodness”, with due credit to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs where politeness is on the bottom of the pyramid, then respect, then kindness, with generosity at the top.

I believe both politeness and respect are learned behaviours. Certainly in my case I was “taught” to be polite and to respect my elders and the law. You could argue that both kindness and generosity are influenced by peers, parents, family and environment. But I think they are learned through experiences throughout your life. I suggest that older people are far more equipped, should they choose, to be kind and generous. 

As a practical example, think of people here in Bass Coast, and there are many (I leave it to you to identify them) who are generous – probably to a fault. But are they not also polite, respectful and kind? 

Rather than identify individuals who meet all my “hierarchy of human goodness”, I’ll give a couple of examples of who doesn’t. Trump. Is he polite (no, downright rude), is he respectful (totally disrespectful), is he kind (he is cruel) and is he generous (only to those he wants something from). 

Another is Putin, who to one’s face is polite and respectful, but changes once you leave the room. He certainly isn’t kind (starves his people for a war) nor generous – people who oppose him appear to fall off balconies quite frequently. He’s as cunning as a rat, but that doesn’t fit in my hierarchy.

I don’t know enough about those tech barons who gave huge sums to Trump. Were they generous? No, protecting their brand and certainly anticipating something tangible in return for their “generosity”. On a positive, I don’t know if Melinda and Bill (when they were friends) are polite and respectful, but my perception was their generosity through the Gates Foundation was given without any expectations of personal benefits.

I realise they are extreme examples, but I hope they make my point that true generosity is far more likely when the other three attributes are present.