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Checking out

17/4/2019

10 Comments

 
PictureEtsuko Yasunaga came from Japan to Australia with a suitcase, a little savings and a little English. These days she is happy to call Inverloch home.
By Etsuko Yasunaga
 
ADVANCED technology changed many aspects of our lives in the modern world. It brought many positives of convenience and effectiveness, perceived connection with others and a culture of sharing. The world is virtually right in front of us, just a click of the finger away. We can search pretty much anything and get answers instantly.

​I can’t disagree with the positives that the technology has brought to our modern lives. However, I sometimes can’t deny the feeling of detachment, disconnectedness and shallow emptiness, especially in many social media sites. I feel its instantaneous nature encourages superficiality. I have several social media accounts, although reluctantly. The introverted nature of my personality is revealed strongly in those social networking sites. My accounts are often inactive as I don’t post much on those.

I’m not a conformist. I like to figure things out in my own way through my personal experience. Therefore, I’m little cautious when I come to jumping on the bandwagon. An example I’m talking about is Facebook. Ever since I made an account, I have been on and off this particular social media site for over thirteen years. Unlike the teenagers of the modern era who grew up with it, our generation was introduced to this new form of social networking later in our lives. Mine started innocently via an email invitation from one of my friends who had just joined Facebook. It went like this - such and such has joined Facebook and sent you a friend request. Would you like to accept? I clicked an accept button. My act was purely out of curiosity. Many were talking about this new form of social networking back then, and I guess I wanted to find out.
 
I enjoy finding out good news of dear friends – success in their career, achievement and social celebrations. The familiar smiles of close friends often light my heart up. Lovely pictures, beautiful video clips and thought-provoking articles posted and shared by friends are my favourite, and I embrace the diversity of circles of friends I have. However, I found Facebook can be the great time-waster, and some updates that appear in the news feed are quite trivial and insignificant. Small talk tires me out, while I crave for deeper conversation.
 
All the stuff choking the feed and the endless scrolling - is that all there is to social networking? I became increasingly dissatisfied with Facebook. I loathed the voyeuristic and exhibitionistic nature of this platform. Curiosity killed the cat and the bottomless news feed suffocated me. Enough was enough. I deactivated my Facebook account on summer solstice 2018.
 
My final post before deactivation quoted - I have decided to deactivate my account from summer solstice to autumn equinox. It's just an experiment I would like to carry out to bring more space in my life. Less noise but silence, less information but more intuition, less small talk but more reflection - that's what I would like to cultivate. This post may not appear in your news feed, and most of you don't even notice my quiet exit. I may not create a ripple, but my decision is firm. You know where I live, my number and where to meet me without Facebook. Happy summer solstice, everyone!
 
Have I missed much? Was I socially isolated? Did my friends forget to invite me for social engagement? Did I miss Facebook? The answer is no, not at all. The truth is I enjoyed deeper connection with people about whom I cared most. I continued to engage with my friends individually via emails, text messages and simply a talk on the phone. I observed I didn’t have a pressing need to share my life with others online all the time. Digital technology floods our senses with visual stimulation and keeps our minds busy. Many would agree that it is so easy to waste time scrolling down a page or click on to the next site that we fancy - the comment liked, photos with lots of thumbs up, the article shared, and a video clip gone viral. Everything is so fleeting, yet we are obsessed with it.
 
Time wasted is time never recovered. Let’s forget about the preoccupation with the self. Put down the smartphone and appreciate the real world whenever you can. Pay attention to people right in front of you wherever at work or at home. Be present. If we all start to focus on others more, and engage in creating authentic deep interaction with those people who matter most, the connection will be real and genuine. In the process of connecting with others authentically the true reflection of who we are will emerge like a beautiful lotus flower.
 
“May we exist in muddy water with purity, like a lotus.” – Zen verse
​
10 Comments
Phyllis Papps
19/4/2019 10:19:57 am

What a brilliant and thought-provoking article. I totally understand what Etusoko says and why she says it.

Ultimately it IS the deeper connection we have with our special friends and NOT the superficial quick one-line or two-line message or emoji.

Let's hope we get back to the days when our TRUE friends wrote us a 'real' hand-written letter or sent us a card. (a well thought-out Email is acceptable, and of course phone calls and personal contact.)

BUT I suppose I am 'whistling in the wind.'

Reply
Etsuko Yasunaga
19/4/2019 11:40:38 am

Thank you Phyllis for your comment. My experiment definitely changed my relationship with Facebook, and cultivated more mindful approach. You may say 'whistling in the wind', but I would like to believe we can change by creating critical mass.

Reply
Robyn Arianrhod
19/4/2019 11:18:15 am

What a great experiment, Etsuko! Thank-you for sharing your experience, and for your thoughts on the nature of connectedness (and disconnectedness).

Reply
Etsuko Yasunaga
19/4/2019 11:44:41 am

I highly recommend this to anyone, even just for a month. I can assure you that you gain so much in this process. Thanks for your time reading my writing, and posting your comment.

Reply
Sunny
19/4/2019 06:40:57 pm

This just confirms to me that I did the right thing by resisting to open a facebook account. Once a friend asked "are you on facebook?" I said no if you want to see my face you know where I live. She never came to visit and even moved town, which I found out a couple of years later. So I don't hear about everything but does it really matter? Hasn't it become a way of promoting oneself or your business? I have a lot more questions but will save it for now.

Reply
Etsuko Yasunaga
19/4/2019 08:55:41 pm

Over the years we tend to collect so-called Facebook friends who are more acquaintances rather than true friends. People come and go through our lives regardless of having social media accounts or not. To keep friendships alive, we all need to make an effort. Facebook certainly can be a practical medium to keep up to date with friends for some people, but as you can read from my article, I prefer face to face contacts. Thanks for taking time to read my writing, Sunny.

Reply
Phyllis Papps
20/4/2019 11:14:25 am

Thank you so much for your great insights Etsuko and the very thoughtful replies to your wonderful article.
One day we shall meet BUT not on Facebook or Twitter !!!

Reply
Etsuko Yasunaga
20/4/2019 11:39:04 am

Yes we shall. You can catch me every Saturday 7:45 am at the stump for parkrun unless I go to Koonawarra or Churchill Island, and Wed 7:15 pm & Fri 9:30 am at the YMCA for Bodybalance. Otherwise I'm often on my bike, riding around Inverloch to the library.

Reply
Mark Robertson
21/4/2019 01:31:38 am

Well said Etsuko, I have always found actual reality to be far more interesting than virtual reality. Social media is a shallow con job, and far more can be gained by a close study of your surroundings, some may call it zen, I would call it life in its simple glory
.It is so easy to over think and analyse our reality. Pleased to have you joined the luddites!

Reply
Etsuko Yasunaga
21/4/2019 08:07:30 am

Thank you for taking time to read my writing.

Twitter posts were initially limited to 140 letters (now doubled), and Instagram is only photos. Out of three, I found the noise of blowing one’s trumpet is the loudest on Facebook. I think it’s because the posts are often addressed to a broad audience, not an individual. Trying to get ‘hits and likes’ makes it a numbers game. I have grave concerns for the diminishing respect for written words in those social media. Not only are careless spelling mistakes widespread, but fundamental grammar is often not observed. Written language is becoming more like slang. I believe in the power of words, especially written words, therefore it's very sad to see proper care and thought not going into those posts or comments.

I’m not a luddite fully as I embrace modern technology for creative designs by the way.

Reply



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