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Second time round

2/7/2020

8 Comments

 
PictureEtsuko, aged 1
By Etsuko Yasunaga
 
MAY is my birthday month. I like the month of May both in Japan and Australia. In Japan after the spectacular array of delicate pink cherry blossoms that seems to engross the entire nation, May is the season of fresh verdure. The sunshine is brighter and the wind is refreshing and pleasant in late spring. Here in Australia autumn deepens in May and we witness how beautifully leaves grow old, still full of colours on their last days, then they eventually decay. I adore the crisp air in the morning and the glorious sunny afternoons when I can spend many hours immersed in my garden.
 
It was a culturally significant birthday for me this year. Turning 60 years old is called kanreki in Japan. The characters in the word kanreki literally mean ‘return’ and ‘calendar’. The passage of each of the five elements – wood, fire, earth, metal and water – combined with each of 12 zodiac animal sign years makes up the sexagenary cycle. The cycle of life returns to its beginning in 60 years in the lunar calendar. 

I was born in 1960, the year of the metal rat, and the full 60-year cycle has come full circle this year in 2020. The 61st birthday (60th on a Western calendar) marks the beginning of an individual's second childhood. It is an important event for many Japanese families, often celebrated with a special family gathering. Traditionally, friends and relatives are invited for a large party or a celebratory feast. It is customary for the celebrant to be given a red hood and to wear a red vest. The colour of these clothes is associated with a Japanese word aka-chan, simply a little red one for babies, and thus symbolises the celebrant's return to one’s birth*.
Picture7-5-3 Festival. Etsuko, aged three
For my birthday this year I toyed with the idea of a large gathering with my life-long friends with a few entertainments thrown in or an intimate dinner party with a small number of dearest friends. In the end the pull of the motherland was strong; I decided to celebrate my special birthday with Robert, my mum and sister in Japan. When we booked and purchased our tickets in early February coronavirus was already affecting China. I trekked across Nepal when SARS hit the world in 2003, so I was confident that we could still travel to Japan. I’d never imagined the COVID-19 situation would unfold in the way it did. Travelling home to Japan was only a 10-hour flight before. Now I feel Japan is so far away.
 
I was pleased to find out that mum wasn’t inconsolable as I expected, but was quite philosophical about the whole situation. She was certainly very disappointed that we couldn’t visit them in May to celebrate my birthday together, but she made her resolve to stay well and healthy until we could meet again. I regularly contact her via LINE, a communications app popular in Japan. She is often cheerful and her voice is usually filled with energy, which makes me happy.

PictureEtsuko, as seen by her friends
Gifts come in many forms. I would like mine to be sincere, thoughtful and from the heart of a giver if I’m on a receiving end. This year I asked my friends for the gift of the word. I asked them to choose one word to describe our friendship or one word that comes to mind when they think of me. The word that each friend chose for me was a true reflection of how they perceived our friendship and what they thought of me. The collection of the words was generous and powerful. Instead of the two words often used to wish one’s birthday, I had a selection of the words my friends had chosen for me. In my mind it was like a beautiful bouquet of flowers, individual flowers carefully and thoughtfully picked by my dear friends.
 
Many words were related to joy and happiness, light and luminous and the tenacity of my nature, and focused passion. Some were in French, others in Spanish, Italian and Japanese. I loved them all. Even the word “different” felt complimentary to me. I don’t want to be the same as anyone else, I want to be different and unique. I also learned a new word, “rambunctious”, from the collection.  I felt as if I were bathed in the beautiful words, under the canopy of fallen stars of chosen words on my birthday. I appreciated every single word that my precious friends took time to choose. They were the true gift to be cherished and will stay with me for the rest of my life.
 
In Japanese language, I’m often attracted to visually pleasing kanji characters as many of them stem from a hieroglyph or logogram. However in English I love words with lilting sounds, something melodious that rolls off my tongue like a bird song. If the meaning is appealing as well, it’s sure to be one of my favourite words. Oh how wonderful to be able to appreciate the beauty of languages not only in Japanese but also in such rich English language. If I hadn’t decided to come back to Australia to live so many moons ago I wouldn’t have this appreciation for English words.
 
To top it off Rob gave me the most beautiful card filled with loving words. The card said
“What makes you different is what makes you special. Nobody can do what you do exactly the way you can do it. What makes you different is what the world needs. The original way you see things, your exciting story, your unique strength. What makes you different is what’s worth celebrating today. Your big heart, your brave life, your one-of-a-kind spirit.”
This says it all, Et. I wish you the very best 60th birthday. I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to spend “lock-down” with, so thanks for being my partner. Much love Rob xxx
 
* Joan Clark, Family Tradition in Hawaii, 1994  

8 Comments
Shaz Green
3/7/2020 08:37:25 pm

Beautifully written Etsuko and so informative. Thank you for sharing and especially for sharing those GORGEOUS photos!

Reply
Etsuko
4/7/2020 10:49:05 am

Thank you Shaz. I haven't revisited those photos for quite some time, so it was very nostalgic exercise. I stood up on my feet at 10 months and by my first birthday I was walking apparently. I was trying my best to wink (a new trick I learned then) in 7-5-3 Festival photo. It's our editor Catherine's idea to share my childhood photos and I'm glad you enjoyed them.

Reply
Phyllis Papps link
4/7/2020 07:46:32 am

Etsuko,
once again a beautifully written and sensitive article by a UNIQUE woman.
We are very privileged to have you in our lives and for you to share your stories.

Reply
Etsuko
4/7/2020 10:58:55 am

Thank you Phyllis. Your kind words always propel me forward as a writer. I feel I'm an ambassador for Japan so in my mind every action I take and every word I express somehow reflect my motherland. By sharing my stories I'm hoping to bring more understanding and bringing people together with empathy.

Reply
Ian Thomason
7/7/2020 12:55:50 am

Dear Etsuko san. My goodness! 60 amazing years clocked up! I imagine this COVID-19 lockdown has made your 60th year specially reflective and nostalgic. I wish you all the very best and a wonderful future. Just like the tombo- keep moving forwards! You are a lovely lady and like a muffled temple bell echoing through the dawn, my memory of you stirs me even after all these years..hugs, kisses and respect from Ian xx

Reply
Etsuko
7/7/2020 09:37:23 pm

Oh how sweet are your words! I love the metaphor of a muffled temple bell very much, Ian. I'm glad that our paths have crossed, and we could share our time both in Japan and Australia. Hope your life is full and rich like mine. Much love Etsuko

Reply
Verena
3/9/2020 01:23:25 pm

Dear Etsuko, I love the card, what a new beginning with all these compliments and positive attributes. I just want to add mine, I think you are deep and thoughtful.
Well, what a year and I am glad your Mum was accepting.
You will have had a full year with all you are doing. Good luck for the next 60 years!

Reply
Bernadette
4/9/2020 11:16:44 am

Très bel article! Comme d'habitude!
Vous aviez un très joli sourire quand vous étiez enfant. Et vous l'avez gardé aujourd'hui!
Votre philosophie positive de la vie, et votre attitude passionnée, donne à votre visage cet air éternel de jeunesse et d'innocence.
"Il reste toujours quelque chose de l'enfance, toujours..."
(Marguerite Duras)

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