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Take me home, country roads

21/9/2018

6 Comments

 
Krowera hills, autumn 2017. Photo: Geoff Ellis
Driving on the back roads was always a source of joy for Geoff Ellis. These days he wonders what’s around the next bend.
By Geoff Ellis

AUTUMN

IT’S school holidays so there’s no fear of buses as I follow the road warning signs. Past Sheepways I turn right while trying to fix the route in my head. Should I start putting up the posters in Bass or Coronet Bay? I've got enough posters and pins but no sticky tape. Why isn’t there a supermarket in Grantville?
 
To my left the steep valley flattens out toward Western Port. I can see a hawk hovering below me. There must be a rodent down there between the friesians. Small dams sparkle across the paddocks.
 
The car knows the way along this narrow road. I just have to slow down at the moss patch after the landslip. And savour my all too casual glimpses of these rolling hills.
 
The bends become more urgent. Left, right, left. One eye on the speedo, one eye on the jagged edge of the bitumen. Left, right, hold the curve. Hold it. The front tyres are clutching at that edge as the rears just, just follow them around. I can sense the subtle lift as the weight shifts. Right. The car wants to fly. Slow down.
 
And then there's a cyclist. Standing there waving. I hit the skids. The dirty windscreen’s now opaque thanks to the angle of the sunlight. Is there a peloton up ahead?
 
Oh, that’s a sandwich being pointed at me. I ask if help is needed. Nope – just enjoying the view. “Hey, is this the ‘goat track’?” It sure is!
 
I drive on and leave her to her own adventure. Closer to the Woodleigh road Lew Potter is herding lawn mower calves across the road. I toot the horn. He waves.
 
The doors are open at the Kernot hall and I drop in to say “Hi” to the person sanding the floor. There’s an AGM tomorrow and I don't like his chances of timely completion but he says he’ll work through the night if he has to. 
 
I drive past the general store, the history board and then alongside Candowie Reservoir. The level’s down a bit and old tree stumps are emerging from the water.  Further down the hill farms give way to quarries and then housing estates where the 80km/h restriction starts.
 
Moments later the car's cooling down outside the Grantville Pantry. I can smell the brakes as I stroll to a scheduled meeting. I’m on time, for once.
 
I feast on the best burger this side of Melbourne as I talk to a fellow writer about massacres and libraries. By mid-afternoon I’ve postered my way to Coronet Bay. And I didn't need sticky tape. Bliss!
 
WINTER
 
After a long day in Pakenham I’m driving home under a dark and threatening sky. Up the hill from Loch the downpour hits. It’s hard and heavy. The wipers can’t keep the windscreen clear. Only Gippsland clouds can dump like this. There’s a road out there somewhere.
 
More bends, uphill, downhill, then the long flat bit. Downhill around that slow left hander, a little straight bit then the gentle right hander. I caress the steering wheel.

​The car slides past a post into the greenery. Branches slap the side of the car. I dodge a stump as a sign shatters the rear view. All I can see is trees. This is going to hurt. The front wheels find a rut that points them back across the bitumen. Around another post. Toward a drop off.

Now I can see the frickin’ black ice. There’s a car coming down the hill toward me. It slows in time, my ABS cuts in and I drive meekly away. At the Bena turn off I park on solid gravel to survey the damage. Somehow, it’s just a lot of mud and one smashed rear view mirror.
Krowera hills, winter 2018. Photo: Geoff Ellis
SPRING
​

The dashboard clock is fading though the minutes still race the mileage markers. These days I take the bends slower and often hit the brakes for no good reason. I worry about what’s around the next bend, but that’s a good thing.

In unguarded moments I relive a version of the accident that includes the side of the car being stove in and one headlight smashed by a tree. This didn’t happen yet it seems so real.

The new rear view mirror’s on order. I look at the gaffer tape that holds the old one together. It whistles in the wind as I drive back up the hill after trip to a Wonthaggi market.

The distance between these rural towns gives me time to reflect on yet another public yelling match. Not sure why the fellow pissed me off quite so much but he thought that he could out-shout me and I had to prove otherwise. I wasn’t this fkn angry in autumn.

Somewhere north of Korrinne the road rises into a series of gentle bends. Left, then right and just tap the brakes for luck, eh?
6 Comments
Pete Granger
21/9/2018 10:16:27 am

I wonder if driverless cars will handle black ice any better?
Geoff (having a cocktail) driving from Loch.
(mumbles/slurs) 'Siri, mind the black ice'.
Siri. 'Black ice. Black ice. A delicious cocktail made from Kahlua, Rumple Minze, peppermint liqueur and Coke'.
(sound of Geoffs limo sliding down the Loch hills)

Reply
Geoff Ellis
22/9/2018 12:09:32 am

Hi Pete, as always you raise some interesting points and I look forward to this utopian future. I think I'd also be likely to have an arvo nap or write for the BCP while Siri does the driving. Here's to driverless cars, cheers!

Reply
Mark Robertson
21/9/2018 07:35:23 pm

Our hill roads , pot-luck weather conditions and stunning scenic vistas across westernport and the bass beaches are one of the underrated and treasured parts of our shire.Geoff, I know you would prefer to be steering a BDA Cosworth Escort, but I reckon the trusty Suzuki is more capable 95% of the time, and that its replacement mirror is less expensive to buy too! Embrace our constantly-variable climate

Reply
Geoff Ellis
22/9/2018 12:19:05 am

Spot on, Mark, re the Escort, I can hear the exhaust burbling through the hills now.

I highly recommend the Kernot Store as a good lunch stop on a scenic drive through the Hills.

Loch is another hidden treasure - it even has a Wine Bar these days.

Go the Fords!

Reply
James
22/9/2018 06:58:10 pm

Great post Geoff. Since blowing in to Jam Jerrup 8 years ago I love exploring the (what are they called?) Bass Hills. Comparable to some of the views one gets in England in areas designated "Areas of outstanding beauty". I'm always on the lookout for new side roads to wander along. And on weekends keeping a keen eye out for cyclists. One of my favourites is Anderson Hill Road from the Loch-Wonthaggi Road. In Spring there is about 500m of daffodils some poor expat (I guess) has planted to remind them of "home". Pity that so few people ever see it as it is a (well graded) dirt road. But magnificent views over the hills, as you descend, to Westernport and my home.

Reply
Catherine Watson
25/9/2018 07:16:50 pm

James is right. Anderson Hill Road is spectacular, especially on a misty morning. Other favourites: Kilcunda Ridge Road, Densley Road, the Glen Forbes Road, Bena Road. How lucky are we!

Reply



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