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Life on the spectrum

3/12/2021

 
Part 3: New adventures
PictureKate Harmon, pictured with her mother and two brothers. Life was
difficult for a kid who was very different from those around her.
By Kate Harmon

I WAS a very hyperactive child whose battery never stopped. I would just go, go and go. There was never any downtime or a stop button. How my Mum coped I will never know.

One of my childhood memories was when we lived in Caloundra in Queensland opposite a cemetery. We had a big tree in the front yard so my brothers and I moved our trampoline under the tree and we climbed up the tree to the highest branch, jumped out of the tree onto the trampoline then bounced back up the tree with Mum in the kitchen yelling “Stop doing that or you will break a bone or your necks and I will NOT be happy”.

I’ve always enjoyed the outdoors and exploring my surroundings. Capturing images with my mobile phone got me into photography. I purchased my first DSLR Nikon Coolpix p900 in 2019 and I couldn’t wait to use it.

At the end of 2019 I went to NZ’s South Island for a seven-day rail trail ride, 170kms over four days. I was in a group of six. We started from a small country town called Clyde and rode to Middlemarch. I absolutely loved that week in NZ. The scenery was breathtakingly beautiful and doing the bike ride in some parts of the rail trail was quite gruelling. The first day we hit headwinds and ended up walking a good section of the trail as this was quicker than riding. This is something I would love to do again. With the pandemic and the continuation of lockdowns, getting out and exploring has been difficult.

My interests in photography are landscapes, beaches and finding odd/abstract things.

I joined BCAL (Bass Coast Adult Learning) here in Wonthaggi in Oct 2020 starting with the Monday cooking class which I really enjoyed, then I was told about the Wednesday Photography class with Geoff who is the NDIS co-ordinator. I’ve found my place here with Geoff. Now my photography has started to take off. I’ve just done my first paid job for Hector who hand makes clothing and he contacted Jillian from Mitchell House. The photo shoot was done here at BCAL in the hairdressing salon because the lighting was perfect.

Some of my photos were used for thank you cards for Volunteer Day. I am exhibiting five photos for Halcyon Harmonies & Reflection Day at the Goods Shed, which has been postponed several times.

My love for music, whether I am playing or listening, keeps me calm and grounded. I have a huge collection of music on my phone, and I keep an open mind in the genre of music, but I do love live theatre. My late grandmother had a singing voice that could light up a room. She introduced me to live theatre when she saw The Phantom of the Opera and brought back the double tapes which I listened to religiously. If Mum was looking for me anywhere in the house, all she had to do was look in the corner and she’d find me wearing headphones, listening to the tape’s cassettes on her red tape deck. My imagination would send me on a journey through the Paris Opera House.

I play two musical instruments: alto saxophone and clarinet. I’ve been playing the alto sax since 2007 and am partly self-taught. I’m involved with the Inverloch Horn Jam, and we play in the style of New Orleans. The biggest challenge for me is playing by ear, memorising music and improvisation.

With my autism, I also have a complication which is auditory processing disorder which makes me more sensitive to noises. That makes playing by ear difficult as it gets lost in translation when being processed and gets muddled up in the brain. When I was playing the violin, I was good at reading music but could never pass any exam as translating what I heard and repeating it well never happened.

What I am trying to say is I can hear the note, hear the sequence but by the time I process, understand what I am hearing, then repeat it, it gets lost. That goes with playing by ear. People say “trust your ears” – but that’s easier said than done. I’m still at awe at musicians who can play by ear and who can easily improvise. This takes me twice as long as other musicians. Jamming with the Invy Horn Jam has helped me to achieve this goal, but it is still – and will always be – an uphill battle.

Just open your mind and let the music soothe the soul and set you free.

Thank you for reading my articles.
​
Part 2: Fitting in
By Kate Harmon
 
THANK you to everyone who read my first story on autism - life after diagnosis. I thought I’d continue my story with an in-depth look at how autism affects my life and the issues I have faced with understanding the world around me in an abstract sort of way.
 
Once I knew what was making me so different from everyone else, I cried and cried and cried. It was never “why me?” but “how did I get autism and not my brothers?”.
PictureKate, aged about 3, had no off switch.
​My childhood was a nightmare for my mum. She says it was like having a 24-hour sugar rush with no off switch or down time. I was go, go, go, fidgeting, always moving. Even when I was sleeping I was moving. I’d rock in my sleep so hard that at times my bed would be at the other end of the room. Imagine a kid rocking a bed that hard!

​Growing up was very difficult … I was non-verbal till the age of six years. Mum thought I’d never say a word but eventually I started speaking, which I could imagine was a shock as I haven’t shut up since! School was hard, very hard. I was bullied badly by the other kids because I was different. I had a learning disability and I also had a bad stutter which I still have today but put that down to my brain thinking faster than I can speak, which I must admit means I suck at arguing.

​I never knew how my brothers made friends and for a long time that eluded me. Even as an adult I still find it hard to make the first move when meeting someone new or starting a conversation. So at school I never had friends, I was the one walking the fenceline way down the end of the oval, talking to myself and to my imaginary friend Rachael. Boy, didn’t we have fantastic conversations! She never judged me, teased or made fun of me. Rachael was my best buddy. We talked about what we wanted to do when we left school, boys, no kids – “yuck” – where we wanted to travel to … and we laughed a lot.

I lost count of how many schools I went to as teachers would put me in the back of the class as I was too hard to handle. It wasn’t that I was difficult, it was because I was different and misunderstood. For a long time, I hated my brothers. They had the best teachers, lots of friends and they were always happy.
It wasn’t till I finished year 7 and Mum won her year-long battle with the Queensland Education Department that my life changed.
 
The year was 1985 and my life was about to change for the better. I was enrolled at the Maryborough Special School in Queensland at a time when you didn’t need an assessment. I had an academic program set up for my learning needs as well as good teachers who understood my problems. After settling in and finding my feet, for the first time in my life I fitted in. I was normal like everyone else at the school. My confidence, self-esteem and personality just blossomed. I started to believe in myself and thought that I wasn’t as dumb as people thought I was. I had friends and, yes, like any teenage girl I had my crushes on a few of my teachers. I loved manual arts (making stuff and making a mess) but hated maths and home economics .The special school was my high school and I finished school in 1990 with a year level equivalent to year 10.
For the first time in my life I fitted in. I was normal like everyone else at the school.             Kate Harmon​
PictureThe TAFE student
After I finished school, I went and did a few TAFE courses, cooking, bar and gambling in hospitality, but the bullying started up again as I was once again an outsider trying to fit in. I didn’t really have friends at TAFE but that was OK because I wanted to know if completing courses that were at a higher level than school was even possible. It was possible and I struggled. I held down several jobs – one working at a service station, another in hospitality – as I was maturing as an adult.
 
The biggest most outrageous course I ever completed was my Bachelor of Nursing undergraduate course between 2007 and 2012. Boy was that hard! I needed to know if someone like me, who had never gone to high school and only finished the equivalent of Year 10, could do it. I did, and with a big smile on my face. Once again, I encountered – you guessed it – problems. How can you be an efficient and competent nurse by doing assignments and reading books with a handful of placements and exams? Never quite got my head around that one.
 
After five gruelling years I finished, went to graduation where I wore the cap, cloak and badges, then walked on stage to receive my certificate. I will never forget that moment.  It was absolutely exhilarating!

Picture
​Life after diagnosis
Sept 24, 2021 - Learning she had autism was the start of a better life for Kate Harmon.

Nicky Miller
22/10/2021 10:35:54 pm

Really interesting and inspiring. Thanks for sharing.

Mel Marks
23/10/2021 03:49:06 pm

Thank you Kate - what an inspiring and honest continuation of your story. Hope there is a chapter 3 to your story, as we all learn to understand and accept ‘people who are different’ in our community.

Pete Muskens
28/10/2021 09:27:12 pm

Thanks for your story Kate - I have a daughter who's had an autism diagnosis - unfortunately diagnosed way too late at age 18. What you describe, the bullying, the struggle to find her feet in the world with friends who love her all sounds so familiar to me. Your story gives me hope that one day she'll find those things.

John Counsel link
9/4/2022 06:00:04 pm

Pete — it's never too late! We have five adult kids who are Aspies. You can meet some of them at our blog:

https://myaspieworld.home.blog/about/

Our youngest was diagnosed at 13 and was told by her hight school Careers Counsellor that she'd be lucky to graduate high school, and university would be out of the question.

We promptly changed schools, where she graduated as Dux of Music. She wanted to become an opera singer since she saw "Phantom of the Opera" at 9 yo.

She graduated last year from the Melbourne Conservatorium of Music with a Master's degree in Opera Performance. She's currently rehearsing for principal roles with three professional opera companies in 2022,

Her motto: "Don't let anyone steal your dreams!"

Best wishes!


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