Bass Coast Post
  • Home
    • Recent articles
  • News
    • Point of view
    • View from the chamber
  • Writers
    • Anne Davie
    • Anne Heath Mennell
    • Bob Middleton
    • Carolyn Landon
    • Catherine Watson
    • Christine Grayden
    • Dick Wettenhall
    • Ed Thexton
    • Etsuko Yasunaga
    • Frank Coldebella
    • Gayle Marien
    • Geoff Ellis
    • Gill Heal
    • Harry Freeman
    • Ian Burns
    • Joan Woods
    • John Coldebella
    • Jordan Crugnale
    • Julie Statkus
    • Kit Sleeman
    • Laura Brearley >
      • Coastal Connections
    • Lauren Burns
    • Liane Arno
    • Linda Cuttriss
    • Linda Gordon
    • Lisa Schonberg
    • Liz Low
    • Marian Quigley
    • Mark Robertson
    • Mary Whelan
    • Meryl Brown Tobin
    • Michael Whelan
    • Mikhaela Barlow
    • Miriam Strickland
    • Natasha Williams-Novak
    • Neil Daly
    • Patsy Hunt
    • Pauline Wilkinson
    • Phil Wright
    • Sally McNiece
    • Terri Allen
    • Tim Shannon
    • Zoe Geyer
  • Features
  • Arts
  • Local history
  • Environment
  • Bass Coast Prize
  • Community
    • Diary
    • Courses
    • Groups
  • Contact us

Out of the shadows

17/11/2017

11 Comments

 
PictureWayne Moloney, left, has been with his partner Keith Ritchie for 48 years.
Bass Coasters reflect on Wednesday’s momentous events when it became clear that the last bastion of official discrimination against LGBTI people was about to fall.

By Wayne Moloney
​

WE WERE at home watching the TV on Wednesday morning. I felt an immense sense of relief that the yes vote had succeeded but it didn’t really hit me until later that night when I read a post from a young friend in Melbourne. 

“I felt 100% whole," he wrote. "I could be a real person, live my life without any embargo. Then I looked about me and became aware of something much greater. Older people in tears, embracing and I realised the weight of a lifetime was being lifted from them and they were stepping out of the shadows.”
 
It suddenly hit me how much easier the journey will be for younger people. They don’t have to suffer the indignity. They can find their own worth and value without legal pressure.
 
Keith is a beautiful, gentle, charismatic soul and I guess I have loved him from the day we met as 14 or 15 year olds. We met 55 years ago following Collingwood Football Club within a large social group. Keith married a wonderful woman Beverley from within that group. I was at the wedding. The marriage lasted two years (no children).
 
Keith accepted the sexuality he was denying and to my astonishment our friendship moved to another level. Eventually everyone realised that Love is Love and you must be true to yourself or be sentenced to a life of misery. Those friends are with us to this day.
 
Of course homosexuality was illegal back then. There was an element of danger. We were doing something totally unacceptable. In those early years we fled from police raided parties. As we look back now it was a very thrilling time! Not that we want to go back to it.
 
Will we get married? Keith would be reluctant. He jokes that after 48 years, why make it permanent? I don’t know. The jury’s out on marriage. But one thing that’s always been in the back of my mind is the many awful stories I’ve heard of people who’ve been in long-term relationships and when their partner become ill or died, they’ve been pushed aside as families waltz in and disrespect the relationship. That’s the thing that would persuade me. Sometimes that bit of paper can be very meaningful.
 
But after 48 years we’d be doing it for our friends rather than anyone else. And we’ve never really experienced in our relationship the lack of family acceptance that a lot of gay people have.
 
I have a wonderful relationship with Keith’s family. My family adore Keith and are over the moon. During the campaign, one of Keith’s brothers-in-law volunteered that he would vote no. They accept our relationship 100 per cent but marriage was a step too far. Even if the law changes there will still be people who find it sinful.
 
All those furphies were thrown up during the campaign. Kids need a mother and father. No, kids need a loving home. I’ve seen plenty of fantastic kids grow up with two mums or dads.
 
The last business we had in Melbourne we had a rainbow flag in the window. When we came down here and bought the Tattslotto business in Wonthaggi, my only fear was that we might have to close the door on the closet again. It hasn’t been like that at all.   Maybe because we had a regular business and we lived as regular people in the community, people just accepted us.
 
Several people have said we made it OK to be gay in Wonthaggi. They started to live their lives more openly. The language changed. They could say “we” and not “I”. It’s such a relief for people to stop living a lie. You can share your life with other people. Suddenly your real life has more value.
 
Sometimes we fly a rainbow flag outside our place at Ryanston. Once a vehicle slowed and someone yelled “Poofters!”  I guess you’ve got to expect that if you’re going to nail your colours to the mast! But that’s the only time we’ve been abused since we came down here. 

Phyllis Papps, left, has been with her partner Francesca Curtis for 47 years. They were both involved in the early gay liberation movement in Melbourne in the 1970s. ​
Picture
Picture
By Phyllis Papps
 
Our reaction was jubilation, joy, excitement, tears. Finally, after nearly five decades of hard work by thousands of LGBTIQ people and many of our allies, Australia is ready to accept us as equals.
 
It has been a very long journey of discrimination, homophobia, xenophobia, and the list is endless. There have been so many gay people who are no longer alive who would rejoice that Australia has finally 'grown up'.
 
As for Francesca and myself and having a long-standing relationship together for 47 years, we have discussed marriage.  My mother who is 97 and voted YES, asked me a few weeks ago, "Are you and Francesca going to get married?" Her question stunned me.  Other members of my very accepting family have asked the same question. The answer to this question is YES. But we should hurry up because age and ill health is creeping up on us.
 
As two of the few pioneers of the beginnings of the gay liberation movement here in Australia in 1970, we believe very strongly that the battle was worth it, even though it has taken 47 very long and hard years.
 
Also, we realise that the legislation that goes to Parliament will probably be watered down. But the yes vote was symbolic and cannot be changed despite the bigotry, biased information from the religious fanatics, self-serving politicians, some of the media etc. etc.
 
As a last comment, Francesca and I moved to Rhyll on November 15 in 2001 with our two beloved dogs.  So this critical day (November15) will be embedded in our lives forever.
11 Comments
Name withheld by request
17/11/2017 06:29:31 pm


Wednesday 15th November, 2017
I woke up and my first thought was, today’s the day
I’d run out of grog and had to dash to Foodworks for my spelt bread
I made it back in time and turned on the telly at about a quarter to 10
I inhaled, felt tense, then forced myself to relax
I found the theatre of the announcement amusing
The moment soon arrived
I held my breath
The announcement
I shed a tear
O fabjous day! *

69 year old gay woman, Wonthaggi (I’m withholding my name because the event was not about me, it was about all 69 year old gay women.)

* Thanks to Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky

Reply
Name withheld for family reasons
17/11/2017 06:31:47 pm


Our own families sometimes provide our worst experiences of homophobia. For those of us unlucky enough to have such families, the hurt can be so deep that it is difficult to articulate it – especially in a way that others can understand. Family bonds, both positive and negative, run so deep.
Given this, and that we live in a heteronormative society, I think marriage equality offers important legal and emotional support for gay people. We will not just be “almost" equal in law but actually equal. (At least we will be equal when it comes to matters of wills, superannuation, not having to “prove” our relationships, and the like, even if our religious MPs insist on inserting certain ridiculous exemptions from anti-discrimination when it comes to gay people.)

Reply
Catherine Watson
17/11/2017 06:39:40 pm


On Wednesday morning, I was as grumpy as Tony Abbott. Weren’t there more important matters? People kept reminding me it wasn’t about weddings, or even wedding cakes, it was about equality.
Turnbull hailed it as “a vote for fairness” and democracy at its best. I don’t care much for this sort of democracy. Sixty per cent for, 40 against. Therefore same-sex marriage is good. Ten years ago it would have been 40 for and 60 against. Same-sex marriage would have been bad. By definition, the people are always right in a democracy.
I wasn’t even going to vote – I thought a pox on both your houses – but my straight friends were so enthusiastic and idealistic I felt I had to support them by returning my form.
It’s been a long road to equality, much longer than the past three months of political nonsense. It has finally happened because of people like Wayne and Keith and Phyllis and Francesca and all those who were brave enough to be themselves despite society’s disapproval.

Reply
Jan Fleming
17/11/2017 07:33:01 pm

Fantastic news for everyone.
We certainly voted yes.
Jan Fleming and John Adam.

Reply
James
17/11/2017 07:55:37 pm

I woke up on Wednesday morning hoping for the best and ready for the worst. As a retired gay statistician I had been tracking the polls on Excel and was quietly confident and had a big figure "7 million" in mind which when announced I knew we had won. I punched the air and said "YES!!!" and unexpectedly cried. It took a few seconds more I guess for that figure to be put in percentage terms of 61.5% for the rest of the LGBTIQ community to realise we had won.

Sadly an lovely older Christian lady in my small community and I haven't spoken during this divisive debate. I am sure in her own way she is as devastated by the result as I would have been if it had gone the other way.

What to do? Go on being the ordinary and great neighbors we have always been. Not the flashy Mardi Gras crowd or loud activists, who nonetheless all have their place. Prove to them that this is not the Gaypocalypse they feared. Respect the differences and get on with our ordinary (and just a tiny bit fabulous) lives.

Reply
Liane Arno
18/11/2017 05:28:48 am

What I find saddest is that 40% still voted No - and the first two comments have their names withheld.
And for what? A bit of paper. Matt and I married after 15 years together a couple of years ago because we had to have that piece of paper in order to volunteer overseas. So important it was that we forgot to tell people of the news in our New Year's note to family and friends on the preceding year's events.
Having said that it is important to some people and so - why have so many thought (and sought through their vote) to deny this joy to others?

Reply
Pamela Jacka
18/11/2017 08:58:14 am

Hello Liane, I didn't withhold my name for any reason other than I wanted other 69 year old women to feel as though I was speaking on their behalf. They could own my comment as well. It's not the piece of paper that's important, it's the sense of belonging. There are probably many gay people who will choose not to marry but it's nice to know that soon they can make that choice.

Reply
F W Schooneveldt
18/11/2017 09:04:06 am

Across the country 133 electorates said YES and 17 electorates said NO.
Of the 17 electorates that said NO most were in Western Sydney. A lot of the people in Western Sydney are overseas born and very conservative. And there is nothing wrong with this.
Just think about the fact that 89% of the electorates across Australia said YES and be very proud of ourselves for recognitising that we are all equal.
Cheers

Reply
Pamela Gill JP
19/11/2017 07:20:10 pm

🇦🇺 has Voted. So move on.
Get over it.
Remember those special seven letters.

RESPECT


Reply
bob middleton
23/11/2017 12:14:23 am

I,like our editor was not going to vote. Do not know if this makes sense but it is a fantasy of mine that when the powers that be in the AFL put up the Grand Final prices to a high that excludes many I have this dream that not a soul will turn up at the MCG in protest.Just think of that. An empty stadium echoing with protest. That is how I felt about the vote. Why oh why do we have to take a vote on such an injustice? Why did I change my mind? An old and dear friend visited recently and made it clear he would vote NO.So I had to negate his vote. He claimed homosexuality was due to parental upbringing.So now I am wondering when the rest of my kids will cross over to the rainbow side of the street to join one of my four children.( Lap top hasn't been very straight these past few days hence my late comment.Sorry.)

Reply
Pamela Jacka
27/11/2017 10:01:05 am

Pun intended, Bob? :o)

Reply



Leave a Reply.